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Callie Feyen

Overwhelmed and Blessed

in Uncategorized on 22/01/13

A good friend of mine has a blog that records the life of she and her husband and their three beautiful little girls.  At the end of one post she wrote that they are tired and overwhelmed at times, but thankful and blessed too.  This seems like a perfect way to describe parenthood and if I were to give anyone advice on what to expect when one is expecting a child it would be to tell them: You will be overwhelmed and you will be blessed.  These things happen at the exact same time, usually at 3am.

Here’s some more advice I’d give since we’re on the subject:

All kids want a pet. Being afraid of all animals and having no interest in them whatsoever is apparently not hereditary. If this happens in your house, buy your kids some prehistoric eggs. That will, for awhile anyway, keep them distracted from asking for a dog, cat, gerbil, turtle, iguana, or lion.

But be warned: sometimes, in the middle of the night your kid might walk into your bedroom and wake you up from a deep sleep to say: “Mama! Mama! Wake up! WAKE UP!!!!”

And you will say, “What is it? What is wrong?”

And your kid will say, “I CAN HEAR THE TRIOPS HATCHING!!!”

Hatch, hatch, hatch, ROAR!

When your kid starts to talk, she will ask a lot of tough questions.  However, if you’re lucky, she will ask them in rapid succession so that by the time you have taken a breath to begin answering the first question, she will be done and on to something else. If you’re double lucky, you will be driving her to school so there is little time for contemplation. This technique is called “Stall and Distract,” and you can read up on it in Parenting Magazine.  It’s what all the good parents are doing.

Or if you don’t feel like reading Parenting Magazine, just read how a master handles the situation:

“Mama? How old do you have to be to have a baby?”

“Ummm, how old?”

“Yeah, and what is a flu shot again?”

“A flu shot?”

“Also, I have to tell you something really scary. Are you ready?”

“OK.”

“Gina* only has four fingers.”

“Four fingers?”

“Yes. I know because I counted them. Where is her other finger?”

“Her other finger?”

“Yes. Where did it go? How come she only has four fingers?”

“I’m not sure, Hadley, but look! We’re here at school!  Have a grrrrreat day, sweetie!”

 

 

Since I’m on a roll, let me just go ahead and tell you that sarcasm doesn’t work effectively with young children. This is a lesson I am still learning. Kids live in a very literal world. Here’s an example: Hadley and Harper wanted to watch “Busy Town” (it’s the place to be) one afternoon so I turned on our Netflix and accidentally brought “Word Girl” up instead.

“OH NO!!!  WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? THIS IS NOT THE SHOW WE WANT TO WATCH!!!!!”

I write in all caps and explanation points to try and illustrate the severity of my mistake.

“Calm down, girls. I’m pretty sure this is not the end of the world.”

To which Hadley says, “Right. Because the sun has not bursted yet.”

I think my head “bursted” a little after that conversation.

I’d like to make all your lives easier when it comes to siblings fighting.  Folks, it’s impossible – I repeat IMPOSSIBLE to mediate a fight.  If your kids are like mine (and they are, aren’t they?) what they are fighting about makes no sense in any world or any language. Just today Hadley and Harper were fighting over who got to play with a Polly Pocket and against my better judgement I asked, OK, screamed, “Who had it first?”

“ME!” they both tell me.  Turns out, Harper had Polly Pocket’s body and Hadley had her head.

Ol’ Solomon thought he had it rough.

Finally, I’d like to end this post with a few notes Hadley has slipped under the door after she’s gone to bed but she still has things she needs to say (Hadley always had things she needs to say).

This note has something to do with the fact that Hadley cannot sleep anymore.

This one she wrote when I was writing and was not able to say goodnight when she went to bed. Sigh.

And then there’s this one:

Yes, parenthood is an overwhelming blessing.

 

*Her name is not really Gina.

 

22 Comments

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Comments

  1. Marissa Johnson says

    January 22, 2013 at 7:34 am

    Callie, thank you for the morning laugh:)

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 22, 2013 at 7:47 am

      Hi Marissa! You are very welcome. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Sarah Wells says

    January 22, 2013 at 8:39 am

    Bahahahahahaha!

    These are great.

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 22, 2013 at 9:10 am

      Thanks, Sarah! What’s disturbing to me is how easy they were to come up with. They happen all the time! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Valerie says

    January 22, 2013 at 8:43 am

    I love this post. So true.

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 22, 2013 at 9:09 am

      Thanks, Valerie! Glad you can relate. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Cara says

    January 22, 2013 at 9:36 am

    So funny! One of my favorite posts.

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 22, 2013 at 9:38 am

      Thanks, Cara! Our walk inspired me.

      Reply
  5. Rhonda Dornbos says

    January 22, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Really and totally laughing out loud at my desk at work!

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 22, 2013 at 9:14 pm

      Hahaha! I’m glad. If you can’t find this stuff funny, than we’re all in trouble, right?

      Reply
  6. Shani says

    January 22, 2013 at 11:49 am

    Totally impressed with your ability to deflect. And if I have kids, I know where I’m gonna send ’em for answers.

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 22, 2013 at 9:13 pm

      Definitely send them to me. They will be thoroughly confused and totally sugared up. You’ll love me.

      Reply
  7. Jayna @ Yankee Drawl says

    January 22, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    Haha, I can so relate to every bit of this! Lucky for children that they can amuse parents so well without even knowing it!

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 23, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      Hi Jayna! Yes, they do amuse us, don’t they? Sometimes, probably to my shame, it takes me a wee bit of time to find the humor. 🙂

      Reply
  8. Anita says

    January 22, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    So very real. Like you, I feel overwhelmed and blessed. Every. Day.

    I’ve also found that you can use a child’s tendency to take everything literally as a part of the “the stall and distract” strategy. Then you’re suddenly discussing the meaning of an idoimatic expression rather than answering impossibly complicated questions or refereeing a fight. 🙂

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 23, 2013 at 7:15 pm

      Anita, that’s brilliant! 😉

      Reply
  9. alison says

    January 23, 2013 at 10:40 pm

    so much of this is so funny. i think we are entertained by things we relate to, and all of this sounds way too familiar. except the sun bursting. i don’t think my kids have learned that yet. p.s. does this make me famous?

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      January 24, 2013 at 8:09 am

      It totally makes you famous. I was going to link up to you but I wasn’t sure if you wanted that. I wrote down another quote of yours a few months ago that may or may not work it’s way into a post (or essay??) someday, too.

      Reply
      • alison says

        January 24, 2013 at 5:33 pm

        i’m intrigued. i’m going to try to start sounding very wise to see how many of your publications i can make it into. makes up for my utter lack of publication. 🙂

        Reply
  10. Kelly @ Beyond the Big Red Barn says

    January 25, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    Overwhelmed. Tired. Thankful. Blessed. That describes it, for sure. Your kids say the funniest things…and I needed that laugh. 🙂 Thanks for sharing a few bits of your blessings with us!

    Reply
  11. Becky @ Rub Some Dirt On It says

    February 1, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    Loved it all, especially the notes. What a trip they must be 🙂 And no need to explain writing in caps–we all get it, that’s for sure!

    Reply
    • calliefeyen says

      February 1, 2013 at 3:46 pm

      Thanks, Becky. I kind of want to frame those notes. 🙂

      Reply

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Hi! I’m Callie. I’m a writer and teacher living in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I write Creative Nonfiction, and in my oldest daughter Hadley’s words, I “use my imagination to add a bit of sparkle to the story.” I’m a contributor for Coffee+Crumbs, Off the Page, Makes You Mom, and Relief Journal. My writing has also been featured on Art House America, Tweetspeak Poetry, Good Letters, and Altarwork, and in 2014 I was one of the cast members of the Listen To Your Mother DC show.

I hold an MFA in Creative Writing from Seattle Pacific University, and I am working on my first book that will be published through TS Poetry Press.

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When I was in fourth grade, I got my front tooth k When I was in fourth grade, I got my front tooth knock out during a baseball game. I was in the dugout, trying to make a butterfly in the dirt with my shoe. The batter, who’d hit not just a home run, but a grand slam, came running in and everyone cheered and so did I because I’d gotten really good at reading cues for when a good thing happens in sports. I even attempted a high five, and somehow I knocked my face into her batting helmet, thus spending the good part of that weekend summer day in the dentist’s office getting a root canal.

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