Closer to Fine

Last week, after I picked Hadley up from school, the girls and I drove to the zoo.  It wasn’t too hot out so we ate our lunches with the windows rolled down while listening to the “Silly Songs” CD as loud as I could stand it.

We saw a couple of panda bears.

We followed elephant tracks to find the giant beasts in their new habitat.

And while Harper was supposed to be sound asleep, and Hadley was supposed to be doing her quiet time activities, the girls danced in the sprinklers with other kids while we moms and several people passing by laughed at their carefree jumping and squealing.

Every so often, usually in times when the schedule changes, or I’m learning and trying new things, I have to ditch all that’s going on and drive somewhere.  Last week, I needed a ditch day.  First, the wasps came back into our house (after I left them a letter and everything). I usually make a joke about how scared I am of them but I couldn’t find humor in it last week.  Especially when I found one crawling on my foot.

Then, there’s the fact that Hadley’s going to school almost every day this year.  It’s not all day, but it’s a routine.  I like routine, don’t get me wrong, but it feels like Senior Year again.  I know there are other things coming – great things – but I won’t walk down these hallways anymore, this won’t be my locker, there’ll be no more Drill Team practices.

The thing that got me packing lunches and making sure our membership to the zoo was still valid, was carpool.  I respect the carpool.  I do.  But there is so much fuss involved, and it gets to me.  This year, when I read through the directions of how to do carpool (a document that is an entire page filled with diagrams and maps) there were about seven exclamation points in the directions.

Coming early for drop-off and pick-up complicates the procedure!

Our staff is not allowed to buckle seat belts for children!

ALTERNATE ONE CAR AT A TIME FROM EACH LANE INTO A SINGLE LANE! (This one need caps and an exclamation point.)

I felt like I was being yelled at.   And then I was yelled at, literally.  On the second day of picking up Hadley, I pulled over to buckle her in (because “OUR STAFF IS NOT ALLOWED TO BUCKLE SEAT BELTS FOR CHILDREN!) and I guess I wasn’t pulled up far enough so I got a, “CAN YOU MOOOOOOVE?” from one of the staff.

The other thing is that I think I am going to make a sign on my car door that reads, “WE DO NOT HAVE AUTOMATIC SLIDING DOORS.”  (Maybe I should add an exclamation point to it, for effect.)  We have sliding doors.  Isn’t that enough?  Can I still be in the cool group?

Anyway, between the wasps, Hadley growing up, and carpool, I’d had it.

It’s happened before.  I get a little freaked out about what’s going on in my life and decide to press the pause button for a bit.  In high school I walked out a couple of times in the middle of the day.  I know my mom was pleased when I showed up at her place of work and explained (quite rationally, too), “I’m never going back to school.”  When I was a senior in college, after being told for the 300th time that I am extremely intraverted and I place much importance in having a good plan, and that this might be a problem for someone who wants to teach middle schoolers, I decided to leave school for a bit too. I drove to Notre Dame to see about a guy, and then to Chicago.  I remember singing “Closer to Fine” by the Indigo Girls at the top of my lungs and feeling much better.

It’s good to leave for a bit.  To drive with all the windows down listening to songs that you love.   You can always go back, and you will.  It’s just nice to get some distance every so often.  Especially from the wasps.