Off She Goes

The challenge was this – if Hadley wanted SnapChat, the bane of my existence, she needed to do the following: 1. Read for 30 days, 2. Exercise for 30 days, and 3. Do something creative for 30 days.

I won’t get into whether she fulfilled the challenge to my exact specifications. I will say that I am tired. Exhausted, really. This morning, I took the charts off the fridge and told Hadley to send me the ghost app so I can approve it.

“Where’d the charts go?” Hadley asked as she stood by me, watching to make sure that indeed, I really was going to approve the mother of all social apps, the end all and be all of humanity as I know it. I swear I could feel the world shifting; could hear brain cells crying out in agony, “SAVE US! SAVE US! WE WERE BRILLIANT ONCE! WE HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL! PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD DON’T DO IT!”

“I took the charts down,” I said.

“Why? There were still bubbles to fill out,” Hadley said.

I clicked, “approve,” and then turned to her. “I can’t force you to be someone I think you should be.” I went on to say that I didn’t say that to make her feel guilty, or to say I am disappointed in her. Nothing she can do will ever make me love her or her sister less. “I want you to love your life,” I told her.

“You seem sad,” Hadley said.

“I am,” I returned. “But it’s OK.” I shut my computer, and stood up from the table. “You’re all set. Have fun.”

A few hours later, I walked into the kitchen to see Hadley had hung a goal tracker on the fridge. I’d given one to her and Harper a few days before Christmas as part of a Vision Board for 2021 exercise. (Yes, I did. I know. Can I get more Monica Geller?) Hadley’s goal is to exercise every day for 30 minutes.

Hadley’s currently reading the 5th Harry Potter book, the one where many criticize Harry for having an attitude problem, breaking rules, and being reckless. I remember how I vehemently defended Harry’s behavior. “This is normal!” I’d cry. “This is what’s supposed to happen,” I’d say confidently, having no children of my own, or, having ones so young their chubby arms and legs still looked like they had rubber bands around them. “Harry is at the age where he’s supposed to start to question authority. He’s supposed to look at the adults in his life and decide who he is and how he wants to live according to what he knows and feels and wonders.” They’d all just forgotten what it’s like to be a teenager, is all.

“I’ve forgotten how good this series is, Mom,” Hadley said later that day.

“What part are you at,” I asked, and she told me she’s at the part where Hermione and Harry have to take Professor Umbridge to the Forbidden Forest (she holds them at “wand point”).

“I can’t stand Umbridge,” I said. “She is absolutely the worst.”

“Yeah,” Hadley said. “I love what the Weasley boys do to her.”

We both laugh.

“Thank God for the Weasley boys,” I said.

Then, I got my own goal tracker and hung it next to Hadley’s.

Maybe the challenge isn’t over.

Maybe it’s just begun.

*I believe you can get a free goal tracker Hadley and I are using if you subscribe to the ELISE JOY newsletter.