Hope and Expectation: A Letter to My Nephew

Dear Baby Boy Lewis,

I promise I’m not writing this letter out of obligation, but I’ve been putting it off because I’m not sure what to tell you. With your sister, I wrote about your daddy’s running, and my writing, and you being wonderfully and fearfully made so go ahead and follow that crazy dream because we are all cheering you on. For your brother, I spent some time explaining what life will be like with an older sister (I have decades of experience on the topic). But you are the third child, and I don’t know a thing about third children.

Your Uncle Jesse will know a few things about this, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to talk with you as soon as you’re able, if not before. Your mommy will know loads about not only being in a family of three kids, but FIVE, and as soon as I finish writing this sentence I’m going to take a nap.

I can tell you what I’ve heard about third children. I’ve heard they’re flexible, easy-going, good sleepers. They’re all around fun-loving people. However, it’s easy to turn what we hear into expectations, and I think that’s a problem. I run into all kinds of trouble when I act, or do, or say what I think others expect from me.

If you are easy going, that’ll do. If you prefer a well laid out plan, that’ll be fine, too. If you are a bit of both, great. Most people are more than one thing.

And so maybe that’s what I want to tell you: don’t ever get so comfortable with yourself that you believe you know everything there is to know. There is always more to find out.

Stay curious. About yourself, your sister and brother, your mom and dad. Being curious about others, including ourselves, is a bit more fun than being judgemental.

I hope you find joy in holding a baseball, or feeling it thunk into your baseball glove on a summer evening when fireflies dance with the dust of the diamond.

I hope you’ll find a thousand favorite songs you’ll need to turn up and sing along with in the car with the windows rolled down.

I hope you’ll have a best friend and the two of you will solemnly swear you are up to no good. I hope you make each other laugh, and I hope your friendship is such that when either of you are in the dark, you can say it, and you will grab each other, hold on, and get out together.

I hope you find a good ice-cream shop, one with soft serve and rainbow sprinkles.

I hope you find a local bookstore that smells like pages and ink.

I hope you have many days to eat chocolate chip cookies minutes out of the oven, and I hope you never loose the thrill of riding a bike.

I have no expectations for you, sweet boy. You go on and gobble up the world.

I love you. You are loved before you are you. Love is the only expectation.

Come soon.

Love,

Aunt Callie