In January, when I started to look for jobs, I asked Jesse if I had to explain what happened in the fall. He said, “Do it when you can make it into a story.” What’s redemptive about Creative Nonfiction is I have a chance to create a story from the truth. I am in a bit of turmoil when I can’t do that (ask Jesse). That is, when I can’t order in some way the facts of my life so that I feel settled with them. I don’t mean I am looking for a happy ending, rather, I am able to name something so that I can move forward.
Here’s the truth:
- I love teaching middle school.
- I’m afraid to go back. I am afraid to try again. Even in the schools I’m in now, when I hear talk of testing, and standards, objectives, intentions, any kind of motivational speech and “I can” chants, I start to get sweaty and sick to my stomach. I make a beeline for the library and protect myself with stories. I ache for the discussion my WCA students and I had one afternoon about CS Lewis, Tolkien, and JK Rowling, or the day in Detroit when we talked about Percy Jackson and how his weaknesses are what made him a hero. “How can your weaknesses be assets?” I asked my sixth graders who are now seventh graders and even though they were mine for only 90 days, I loved them. I love them.
- I accidentally on-purpose ditched an interview for a middle-school teaching position I had a couple months ago.
- I got a little lost, and I tried to make a story about it. You can read it here.
Leave a Reply