Friday Night Lights

This is something I wrote from my first year of graduate school about Hadley dancing.  I’d like to share more about her performance on Friday night at the football game, but right now I need to let all of it simmer.  For now, here’s a little bit from an essay called “Grace on a School Bus.”

“Today, I am standing in a local dance studio watching Hadley take a “Zumbatomic” class. She and her buddies shake their hips, jump up and down and scream, “Zumba! Zumba!” to loud, upbeat music.

Hadley loves this class and begins to dance as soon as we walk into the studio. The music is strong, booming over the speakers, and Hadley struts in, shrugs off her jacket, and chugs onto the dance floor. There are a few kids already on the floor, and she joins in: first she step touches, her head bopping to the beat as she studies what they’re doing until she’s ready to join in.

I sit at the perimeter of the dance floor and watch. Hadley doesn’t have all the moves just yet, but she’s got the facial expressions and the posture of a dancer. She is a bold firecracker on the dance floor. However, unlike me, Hadley’s confidence doesn’t rely on whether she knows what she’s doing. She doesn’t have to earn her confidence because she has it in abundance. Hadley holds herself the same way whether she’s eating ice-cream or reading a book. Bold is what Hadley simply is…..

It’s free style time, the last five minutes of class, when each kid gets to go in the center of the circle and dance. The only rule is whatever move the person in the center is doing, the kids surrounding them must do the same thing. Each child has a chance and some jump to the beat, some wave their hands in the air, some spin around as fast as they can. When it’s Hadley’s turn, she walks to the center with a smirk on her face and hands on her hips. She surveys the crowd, tapping her foot and nodding her head. The kids join in and Hadley is amused they think this is all she has planned. Soon, she jumps from side to side, her hands still on her hips. The kids mimic her for a few beats but she changes the move again. This time, her feet are planted and she shakes her hips from side to side, her hands in a high V. Again the kids copy. She only has a few seconds to be in the center, but she’s frugal with the time she has, using it all to dance. When her turn is done, she twirls to the end, and perfectly on beat, points to the person who goes next.

 

After class, as she and I are walking towards the car I extend my hand for Hadley to hold and she says, “Mama? Would it be alright if I just walked next to you? Do I have to hold your hand?”

I drop my hand and say, “Sure. That would be OK.” I fiddle with my keys with one hand, and put my other hand on the strap of my purse to fill the space.”