The Truth About Cinderella

I know you all think I dropped the glass slipper as I was running out of the ball but the truth is, I was running away from the ball and that darn shoe was slowing me down so I flicked it off.  A glass slipper?  Really, fairy godmother?  I don’t think Jimmy Choo would even go that far.

Had I known the ball was for the prince to pick out a wife I wouldn’t had been so eager to go.  For Pete’s sake, I just thought I was going to do a little dancing and maybe have some chocolate milk and a cookie.  So that’s why I was running.  That ol’ prince kept giving me the eye and I had to get out of there but running in those shoes was impossible.  Nobody should use the words “glass” and “slipper” back to back.  It’s like saying “nail pillow.”  Anyway, I got one off but not the other and that’s how they found me.

But until then, I enjoyed a few hours of freedom in much more comfortable attire.

You see my jacket?  THAT’S more like it.  Stylish AND functional.  It’s what you wear to a pumpkin patch.

I just wanted to hang out with my friends, put my hands in my pockets, and check out the world for awhile.

I’ll be honest, this turkey reminded me of that prince I ran away from.

And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but when my fairy godmother turned a pumpkin into a carriage, I freaked out.  That didn’t seem to jive with the world.  This is more my speed.

And I like hanging out with her, too.

All I’m saying is I’m sure the prince is a nice guy and maybe one day I’ll see the merit in shoes that have the capability of doing irreparable damage if someone were to step on my foot or bump into me.  But for now, I don’t really want to think about that.  I just want to get to the top of this haystack and yell and scream and throw hay.

Let the ugly stepsisters have the prince.