We were in Frederick last Saturday for their annual early trick-or-treating fest. (That’s not really what it’s called. Fellow DCers, if you haven’t made the trip out to Frederick during one of these things, I highly recommend you put it on your calendar for next year. There’s haunted houses, there’s candy, there’s dancing in the streets. It’s a blast. Here’s a post from last year, and here’s a link to the real deal.)
Here we are writing with thick pieces of chalk about what spooks us. We parents stood behind the kids while they ran up to make a mark on the board. I don’t think any of those kids really wrote down what scared them. They just wanted to use the chalk, but I loved the idea of these boards: I’m walking along laughing with friends, scurrying after kids, in love with these cute streets of Frederick and by the way, what scares you?
And isn’t that the best time to talk about what spooks us? When we’re in a good place? When we’re bumping elbows with friends, trying to make a small mark in the world?
I stood next to the man who brought the chalkboards out (there were about five). He told me he had to erase them two or three times already so more people could write. I looked at what was up there already: birds, ants, rain slicked roads at night, being alone. There was a girls’ name up there in careful writing and I smiled. Yes, he must be scared of her, I thought. To write her name up there, to hope and yet not hope she reads it. Or maybe she was walking down the sidewalk and he saw her approaching so he wrote her name down, smiling and feeling sick at the same time. That’s a fun kind of fear, isn’t it?
Several people walked up, grabbed chalk, wrote something down, then kept walking. Not having friends, what to do when I graduate, hands on a chalkboard. Write it down and keep walking. The spookiness will still be there, but you can keep going.
I’m afraid of bees. And dogs. I’m afraid of Scott Derrickson’s new movie, Sinnister. I’m afraid that because I’m afraid of his movie that I am like a character in one of Flannery O’Connor’s stories that gets gored by a bull or shot by a misfit. You know, one of those people who wants to understand grace but is also kind of afraid of it.
I deleted my Twitter account (for the third time) and I’m afraid I’ll never be a writer if I don’t master Twitter. Oh dear, but I can’t stand Twitter. I feel like I’m in a really loud bar and am able to listen to everyone’s conversations all at once. Like I’m Edward Cullen.
I’m afraid I know too much about the Twilight series to ever be a writer. Indeed, if she knew me, Flannery O’Connor would definitely have me gored by a bull.
But I’m going to write my fears down and post them on the board. And then I’m going to keep moving. Because I think I believe there’s beauty in all that written down fear.
“Write it down and keep walking. The spookiness will still be there, but you can keep going.”
Are you kidding me with this? Are you kidding me? Girl, you are already a writer twenty times over. (Seriously, were you kidding me with that awesome line? I might just think about it for the rest of the day).
Thank you, Andrea. It seems like a nice sentence to think about…and I wasn’t even wearing teal skinny jeans when I wrote it. 🙂
Callie, I totally refuse to do twitter!!! You are not alone. I have to say there are fears I have like having something bad happen to my children, myself, or a loved one. As far as being spooked, my number one answer is snakes. Especially, living in Texas. I am always on the look out when I am outside to make sure there is nothing slithering around…ewww spookes me thinking about it.
Thanks, Mindy! What’s great about expressing one’s fear is that others might have the same one.
On Harper’s first day of preschool there was a snake outside of her classroom and in my opinion, it was HUGE! I can’t imagine having to live with them on a daily basis!
I love how we’re so attracted to what spooks us. Don’t we all love leaning over to peer into the deep well of our own personal mystery. I reckon that I’m so much of a mystery to myself that I don’t need the mystery of Twitter to further confound me. Yes, “chalk” me up as another Twitter-phobe.
“‘Chalk’ me up.” I like that.
I keep hearing how important it is to have an online presence so it’s refreshing to know that a published author isn’t on Twitter.
Chuckling about the Twilight comment. I couldn’t believe you mentioned Edward Cullen and then kept reading to see you are disturbed by it too. 🙂
Add me to the list of people who don’t use Twitter.
You’re probably a better writer because you don’t use Twitter.
There’s wisdom here: write down your fears, post them, and keep moving.
Thanks, Anita. I think the idea of voicing a fear is scarier than actually voicing it. But to know we can keep moving after we’ve voiced them is comforting, I think.
Well, Callie, I remain afraid of Facebook, so we balance each other out.
I think I saw in KidsPost yesterday that there is a huge Halloween corn maze in Frederick of Obama and Romney that you can wander through, and it can take hours. Did you all try that?
Hey Patrick! No, we didn’t get to the maze, although this sounds like quite a metaphor, yes?
We did visit a haunted house though. I was kind of nervous about that but the kids seemed to like it. Oh, and we went to a great bar-b-que place for dinner!
my weird irrational fears are too complicated to write down here–maybe next time we’re together over a glass of wine and some expensive cheese…
Please. We can talk about our fears over Boones and some string cheese! You know I ain’t fancy. 🙂
Like Edward Cullen??? I just about died.
Hee! Hee!