I Love You When….

I lived with three girls in college.  We tried to go to church on Sundays.  “Tried” being the operative word here.  Of the many things I learned at Calvin College, one of them was the term “Bedside Baptist.”  You have to watch out for those Christian educated folk.

Anyway, one Sunday morning one of my roommates was looking at the bulletin (the fact that she had a bulletin before we were actually at church should be something of note, but perhaps that’s a post for another day…..but really, what 21 year old reviews a church bulletin before they go to church?).  I believe I was looking at a bridal magazine wondering who Vera Wang was and whether her dresses were sold at David’s Bridal.

“Aw, crap,” she said, “I didn’t know there was communion today.  I didn’t prepare for it at all.”

“Are you giving communion?” I asked while dog-earring a picture of a wedding dress with so much tulle that I wasn’t sure how one would fit it in one’s car.  That’s what an SUV is for, right?

“No, I’m not giving communion.  But I didn’t think about taking communion at all this week.”

“You mean you’re supposed to do that?” I slam my magazine shut. “Aw, crap.”

I thought about this conversation a lot last week as Thanksgiving approached.   What kind of Thanksgiving post should I write?  What am I thankful for?  How should I prepare?

I used to keep “happy lists” in college.  I would write down as many things as I could think of that made me happy that day.  I was looking over some of them the other day and one of the items on my list from the beginning of my sophomore year of college was, “eating donuts and drinking coffee with my mom and Grandma in my dorm room.”  They’d taken me grocery shopping and both agreed that now that I had started drinking coffee, it was vital I understood that having a donut with a cup of coffee is one of life’s greatest pleasures.  So the three of us sat in my dorm eating donut holes and drinking coffee from my four cup “Mr. Coffee” pot, and it was delightful.  I don’t remember what we talked about, but I do remember thinking that I was sitting with two culinary geniuses. Afterwords, my Grandma whipped a kleenex out of her pocket and began to dust my TV and dresser.

I didn’t put all that on my list, but I’m glad I remember it.

I don’t prepare for communion.  I should.  The truth is, though, that every time I think about preparing for it, I fondly think of my friend and I sitting across our kitchen table from each other on a Sunday morning.  And in the silent space when we are to confess our sins I try to fight the thought that always enters my head, and that is, Good gracious this is so nice to sit and be silent.

I think it’s good to take note; of the sins and of what there is to be thankful for.  When I think of my friend and I drinking the last sips of our coffee that Sunday morning, I am ashamed for my ignorance regarding communion as I am thankful for her friendship.  Her lifelong friendship.  Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be – you are aware of the sin but thankful for the other stuff, too.

So I will post the sign Hadley made for Harper regarding her efforts in…..well….let’s say growing up this week.  It wasn’t an easy sign for Hadley to write.  Sure, the letters came easily for her, but what happened before was tough.

When Harper did what she did, I made a big deal of it.  I screamed, “Good job!” and I gave her M & Ms.  Hadley asked if she could have some too and I said that they were for Harper because of her efforts.  Hadley ran into her room, crying.  I went in after her and sat on her bed.

“I don’t want to be 5 any more,” she declared.

“Hadley, do  you know how many days it took you to be potty trained?”

“No.”

“About three.  That’s it.  And do you know how old you were?”

“No.”

“Just two and a half.”

Hadley started laughing, so I continued.  “Dad and I were so proud of you, and we made a huge deal because it was a huge deal!  And we gave you loads of M&Ms.”

Hadley must’ve thought things were getting better because she sat on my lap.

“Besides, Hadley.  There are so many things you can do that Harper can’t do yet.  Like read, and write.  You run really fast and you can skip…..”  It was a lot like that scene in The Cosby Show when Claire Huxtable is in the tent with Rudy saying, “Yeaaaaaaa FIVE!”

Then I gave Hadley some M&Ms.  And that’s when she made the sign for Harper.

I’m thankful for my friendships, and my daughters, and for wedding dresses with so much tulle it’s hard to fit in a car, and for coffee with dounts and a grandma who cleaned up the dust so I don’t have to do it…..because I’m not sure I would’ve noticed it anyway.

Because it’s nice to have a friend, or grandma, or mom who’ll sit with you in the dust and help you clean it up.  And give you M&Ms.  Or a donut.  Or a super sized tulle wedding dress.  Or just a sign that counts the ways a sister loves another sister.

(I’m linking this post up with Tuesdays Unwrapped over at Chatting at the Sky.)